You’ve likely felt it. The thrill of getting busy in a place that is just a little public. The possibility of discovery heightens the experience and makes the mood even hotter. But there are some places that are bound to get you in trouble—and we aren’t talking about the risqué kind of trouble.
After searching through the headlines and speaking with those in-the-know when it comes to discovering your devious sexual exploits out in the world—i.e. cops and bouncers—we’ve come up with these 5 locales where things are likely to turn disastrous as you try to get down.
Joining the mile-high club is No. 1 on the sexual to-do list for 33 percent of American men, according to Trojan Condom’s Sex Survey Census. (If you are curious, the beach is the highest-ranked sexual spot for American women.) But for one British woman and her partner, the realization of this sky-high fantasy ended in handcuffs. Her drunken sexcapade on a Virgin Atlantic flight to Las Vegas was interrupted by cabin crew responding to loud noises in the lavatory.
The worst part? Her parents were also on the plane and had front-row seats to the incident. Aside from being mistaken for a terrorist (airlines have rules against passengers gathering in restrooms, especially those near the cockpit door), the sex you are risking it all for isn’t likely to be that great. The largest restroom you’ll encounter at 30,000 feet is going to be no more than 3 feet by 5 feet, and that’s only a little wider than your average refrigerator.
At a Church
An older couple in Salt Lake City, Utah, is facing charges after having oral sex on the Sacred Heart Catholic Church lawn—during a wedding, with children watching. The duo, who were not guests of either the bride or groom, was only stopped when a wedding guest flagged down a passing officer. (They were arrested for gross lewdness and public intoxication, according toThe Smoking Gun.)
They aren’t the only people who ignore the sanctity of church grounds, though. Three percent of Americans admitted to having sex in a church, according to one survey by the consumer research company Keltron Research. Aside from likely offending everyone on the grounds—and the Big Guy above—sex at church can get you busted for trespassing onto private property along with public lewdness.
In a Public Pool
An incident turned serious when an off-duty police officercaught a Florida couple in flagrante delicto within the public pool of a housing complex in the beach town Boca Raton. Though the couple left the pool, the man soon returned to confront the officer, who responded by opening fire when the man threatened him. Doing it in someone else’s pool is also a bad plan, warns a police officer with the New Jersey Police Department who asked to remain anonymous. In addition to being charged for disorderly persons or indecency misdemeanors, you will also be charged with trespassing and/or burglary. (So stick to your own private pool—where hopefully neighbors can’t easily peek over the fence.)
Also, by doing it in the water you are increasing her risk of infection—a 2012 report by the Centers for Disease Control found that 58 percent of public pools contained fecal matter. The possibility of infection aside for you and her if the pool isn’t properly chlorinated, most condoms are designed for sex on land, making it very easy for one to slip off if a little water comes between the rubber and your erection.
At a Club
Though dark, nasty bathrooms of clubs are a fairly common tryst location—in a British study nearly 48 percent of one-night-stands were picked up at a bar or nightclub. (And who knows how many people get their romp started before heading home.) Getting busy in the restroom of a club may seem like an ideal spot, but it’s really one way to ensure that you get busted, and fast.
“Breaking up nasty, story-worthy sex in the bathroom comes with the territory,” says a former bouncer with a club in San Francisco’s posh Marina district who asked to remain anonymous. “As intoxication goes up, slickness goes down. If two people make it to a stall they may think they’re being quiet, but between clothes coming off, giggling, making out, and both parties trying to direct what’s going on, it’s painfully obvious to everyone else as to what’s going on.” That means the bouncer usually isn’t far behind. You are way better off smoothly ending the night at your place rather than getting thrown out of the club mid-hook up.
Someone Else’s Bed
About 33 percent of Americans have spiced up their sex life by getting busy with their partner in someone else’s bed, according to Trojan’s sex survey. For a pair of real estate agents in New York, venturing into someone else’s bed cost them their jobs, and might cost them even more depending on the outcome of a pending lawsuit. The duo, who took on a Tudor-style house listing in New Jersey, allegedly used the vacated house for eight romantic liaisons. Where they went wrong? The house had a state of the art security system that caught the agents on tape, including the final rendezvous that was interrupted by police officers investigating a report of a break-in.
Do we need to state the obvious? If you’re hooking up with somebody you shouldn’t be, have the decency to avoid slipping between the others guy’s sheets—if only to avoid leaving behind an easy-to-solve clue.